Whenever things go sideways, I usually find that my expectations have been thwarted in some way and I have to examine why I have these expectations. I find I often think other people should want the same things I do, but they do not. Sometimes I don’t even realize I have unspoken expectations—until they aren’t met. At other times I know I have them, but don’t think I should have to express them, which is silly. Or I am embarrassed to express them, which frequently points to unreasonableness on my part. Sometimes, my expectations are rational and clearly expressed, but I don’t always get what I want. I can even get more upset when the very person who has just disappointed me has the temerity to be disrespectful as well! When that happens, I usually discover that I became judgmental and critical as a result of some disappointment; I can behave badly without even recognizing it. Even now, at thirty years sober and with many years of solid recovery from my eating disorder, I catch myself trying to “direct the show,” which can be exasperating. But at least I know what is the matter and what to do about it.
EATING DISORDERS ANONYMOUS (EDA)
EDA is a Twelve-Step fellowship of individuals who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problems and help others to recover from their eating disorders. People can and do fully recover from having an eating disorder. The only requirement for membership is a desire to recover from an eating disorder.
General Service Board of EDA
P.O. Box 5243
Chico, CA 95927